Tuesday 16 December 2014

Difficult

I'm starting to feel uncertain
that what i'm doing.... is right

Of course i love you
but sometimes i lose confidence in myself.
Am i good enough to be your only one?
If you're hiding somebody else?
I don't know who's to blame

There's hundreds of happiness
Plenty of pleasure when you're by my side

But

There's millions of pain, a lot suffering
I can never learn to get used to it
I don't know if i can take this any longer
As my tears keep shedding..

-NZ-

Wednesday 10 December 2014

Masih Ku Cinta

"Biarpun kau tak lagi ada denganku
Takkan ku bisa melupakanmu
Caramu memanggil namaku
Terasa seolah kau masih ada 

Jauh didalam sanubariku
Takku relakan pemergianmu
Namun ku kan selalu doakanmu
Agar kau takkan terus terluka

Kau kan temui bahagia
Walaupun aku tidak bersama
Jangan kau gusar aku akan selalu ada
Dari jauh engkau masih ku cinta
Dari jauh aku masih mencinta

Takkan pernah ada pengantimu
Yang mempertahanku sepertimu
Satu dunia menentang cinta kita
Akhirnya kita terpisah jua

Yang mengenalmu cuma aku
Tidak ku menyesal mencintaimu
Yang ku harapkan kau juga mendoakanku

Kau kan temui bahagia
Walaupun aku tidak bersama
Jangan kau gusar aku akan selalu ada
Dari jauh engkau masih ku cinta

Kau kan temui bahagia
Walaupun aku tidak bersama
Jangan kau gusar aku akan selalu ada
Dari jauh engkau masih ku cinta
Dari jauh engkau masih ku cinta
Dari jauh aku masih mencinta"

"Uhmmmm" Arissa mengeluh sesudah tamat menyanyikan lagu Masih Aku Cinta - Shila Amzah dengan gitar kesayangannya. Hatinya tersentuh dengan setiap  bait kata-kata dari lirik itu. Lagu itu sangat bermakna buat dirinya.

"Dalam hidup ini tidak ada yang kekal bersama kita" Arissa berkata dalam sayu.
"Sudahlah benda yang lepas jangan dikenang. You are pretty and nicer girl, come on Arissa. Banyak lagi lelaki kat luar sana yang minat dengan kau. Tak payah fikir orang yang sudah tak memikirkan dan menghargai kau. Please babe jangan bersedih-sedih nanti tak ada lelaki nak perempuan monyok macam ni. Tak cantik, tahu tak?!" Natasha memberikan kata-kata semangat kepada Arissa. Natasha adalah BFF a.k.a sahabat karib Arissa. Mereka selalu berkongsi pengalaman antara satu sama lain. Mereka adalah sahabat yang sentiasa bersama disaat susah, senang dan menanggis pun bersama.

"Arissa, buat masa ini lebih baik kita berkawan biasa sahaja, saya rasa ini jalan terbaik buat kita berdua" Fadli menggengam tangan Arissa. 
"What?!! saya tak salah dengar kah ni? Apa salah saya sampai Fadli buat keputusan macam tu?" Arissa terkedu.
Fadli melepaskan gengamannya "Saya sudah cuba tapi saya rasa tidak berhasil"
Arissa menarik tangan Fadli dan berkata dengan kasar "Apa? Apa yang tidak berhasil?! Please tell me now!"
"I think I don't love you anymore, but never mind we can be friends. Saya tidak mahu bermusuh-musuh dangan kau. Please Arissa kita berkawan saja okay?" Fadli cuba menyakinkan Arissa dengan keputusannya.
Terasa titisan airmata di pipi Arissa. Dia memandang Fadli, memandang insan yang sudah lama menganggu hidupnya. Seorang yang membuat dirinya merasa yang dunia ini seakan milik mereka berdua. Cerita cinta yang mereka bina selama 2 tahun yang sangat indah tapi kini telah hancur. Hancur sehingga meninggalkan begitu banyak kesan kepada Arissa.

"Fadli, kau tahu kan terlalu banyak sudah kita lalui? Suka dan duka bersama, hubungan kita ini terlalu jauh. sangat jauh Fadli. Mudahnya hati mu mengatakan tidak mencintai aku lagi? Bukan senang mahu melupakan ini semua" Arissa teresak-esak berkata-kata, airmata terus membasahi pipi. 
"It's okay Arissa. I can help you to get through all this just to forget everything. To forget about us" Fadli masih lagi cuba menyakinkan Arissa dengan keputusan yang sudah dia sangat-sangat yakin ini yang terbaik buat mereka berdua.

"Hoiii!!! Berangan lagi kah mak cik oii!" Natasha mengejutkan Arissa dari lamunannya lalu menghempas buku notanya dibelakang Arissa.
"Hey!! Sakitlah!! Mana ada orang berangan. Silent pun salah. Ishh!" Geram Arissa.
Arissa berkata dalam hati "Kenapalah aku masih mengingati saat dan hari yang sungguh mengecewakan. Perkara yang membuat aku jadi begini sekarang"

To be continue...

NZ.


Thursday 6 November 2014

The Heart Wants What It Wants


*This song I dedicated to someone, someone from the past, someone that i never forget and always* 

NZ



You got me sippin' on something
I can't compare to nothing
I've ever known, I'm hoping
That after this fever I'll survive
I know I'm acting a bit crazy
Strung out, a little bit hazy
Hand over heart, I'm praying
That I'm gonna make it out alive

The bed's getting cold and you're not here
The future that we hold is so unclear
But I'm not alive until you call
And I'll bet the odds against it all
Save your advice 'cause I won't hear
You might be right but I don't care
There's a million reasons why I should give you up
But the heart wants what it wants

You got me scattered in pieces
Shining like stars and screaming
Lightning me up like Venus
But then you disappear and make me wait
And every second's like torture
Hell over trip, no more so
Finding a way to let go
Baby baby no I can't escape

The bed's getting cold and you're not here
The future that we hold is so unclear
But I'm not alive until you call
And I'll bet the odds against it all
Save your advice 'cause I won't hear
You might be right but I don't care
There's a million reasons why I should give you up
But the heart wants what it wants [x4]

This is a modern fairy tale
No happy endings
No wind in our sails
But I can't imagine a life without
Breathless moments
Breaking me down down down 

The bed's getting cold and you're not here
The future that we hold is so unclear
But I'm not alive until you call
And I'll bet the odds against it all
Save your advice 'cause I won't hear
You might be right but I don't care
There's a million reasons why I should give you up
But the heart wants what it wants [x4]

The heart wants what it wants baby

Thursday 25 September 2014

It's Me!

For me,

When I'm hurt , I don't tell anyone .
I keep it inside , trying to deal with it by myself .
I don't want to burden people with my problems .
It gets to the point where I curl up in a ball and start to cry .
Then I try to put on the best fake smile
I could ever pull on , because no one would notice .
Not even my best friends .

I know you're not supposed to bottle up things but I guess I just get hurt a lot
and I don't think people want to hear my problems .
I've gotten so use to the word hurt that

IT'S GETTING TO THE POINT WHEN I FEEL NOTHING .

-NZ-

Wednesday 20 August 2014

RINDU





Saat aku tertawa
Saat aku menangisi kesedihanku
Aku ingin kau selalu ada


Namun
Semua itu tiada ertinyya lagi
Kau telah pergi meninggalkan ku sendiri




Saat aku cuba merubahkan segalanya :'(





Selama aku
Masih bernafas
Masih sanggup berjalan

Aku kan selalu mendoakanmu



Meski 
Aku tak tahu lagi kau ada dimana


Dengarkanlah

Aku akan terus merinduimu.


NZ.

Tuesday 19 August 2014

INGATLAH AKAN HATI YANG TERLUKA DAN AIR MATA YANG MEMBASAHI PIPI

Saat kau menyatakan semua..
Semua rasa yang ada dihatimu..
Membuatkan aku merasa dunia ini tiada ertinya lagi.
Bagaimana harus aku menjalani hidupku seperti selalu
sedangkan dalam hidupku cuma ada kamu..
Kamu yang sentiasa ku sanjungi sehingga hujung nyawaku..

Mengapa,
Semua yang kita lalui 
tiada erti buatmu?

Bagaimana,
Jika semua yang kita lalui ini
adalah dugaan semata-mata

Tapi,
Tapi perlukan kau tahu
apa kehidupan yang ku lalui sekarang ini?

Hidup seumpama patung yang bernyawa
Aku disini sayang
Aku berdiri di bumi ciptaan-Nya sayang
Aku dikelilingi keluarga, sahabat  dan teman yang sentiasa memberi dorongan kepada ku sayang

Tapi,
Aku serik
Aku serik dengan rasa cinta yang tak pernah padam buat mu
Aku bukan manusia 
Yang ada disini tapi nyawa ku? melayang

macam mana aku boleh cuba mengertikan semua
kau tinggalkan aku
saat aku masih perlukan kau disisi ku..

AKU LEMAH..
Tanpa senyumanmu
Tanpa cintamu

memang kau bukan lagi cinta sejati dalam hidup ku..



NZ.

Wednesday 8 January 2014

BEST FRIEND

Friendship is a special kind of love. And a true friend is hard to find. So when you do find one, hang on tight, don't let go and remind that friend every once in a while how much he or she means to you.


"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
"No friendship is an accident." 
"I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light."
"Oh, you're the best friends anybody ever had. And it's funny, but I feel as if I'd known you all the time, but I couldn't have, could I?"
"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
"Friendship marks a life even more deeply than loveLove risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing." 
"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."
"Remember George, no man is a failure who has friends." — It's a Wonderful Life
"A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow."
"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate."
"The best mirror is an old friend."
"Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success." 
"Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?"
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends." 
"Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit." 
"There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends." 
"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." 
"There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met." 
"Ooh you're the best friend that I ever had
I've been with you such a long time
You're my sunshine and I want you to know
That my feelings are true
I really love you
Oh you're my best friend"
"When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier."
"A friend to all is a friend to none." 
"Only a true friend would be that truly honest." 
"Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks." 
"The only way to have a friend is to be one." 
"Be slow to fall into friendship, but when you are in, continue firm and constant."
"True friends are like diamonds – bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style." 
"I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin." 
"Some people go to priests. Others to poetry. I to my friends." 
"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve." 
"True friendship is never serene." 
"Oooh I get by with a little help from my friends." 
"A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." 
"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind."
"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence." 
"I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar." 
"Friends should be like books, few, but hand-selected." 
"Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."